Cogs & Gears of a Teenage Mind

     Well, it's been awhile. To summarize life since I've last posted: necessary losses. I've begun to realize what's important, what's not, and to do what actually makes me happy. Gasp! It's certainly a breakthrough. I'm preparing for FSU, scrambling to get applications and transcripts turned in, and my essay written before the early deadline- October 14. I feel like writing on here more will encourage me to do the plethora of writing projects that I have on my "To-Do" List. Or maybe I'll just use this as yet another method of "productive" (not) distraction.
     I'm really enjoying this school year. I love being back in marching band again, despite the stresses of it. I'm doing well in all my classes... except Art. Nose-picker level Art, with a bat-shit crazy teacher who thinks that I'm not "pushing myself" despite how much better my work is than the rest of the class. Is that vain to say? Maybe a little, but I feel the need to emphasize my ability in this situation since every kid who follows directions gets an "A," and due to her assumed level of my creativity, she says I'm not trying hard enough. I will blow the school up if I continue to have a "C" in this worthless elective.
     I'm reading The Fountainhead right now, and Ayn Rand is a fucking snore. Not enough of a snore to make me stop reading it: but I'm very skeptical of if the time I'm putting into this is gonna be worth it. I just want to move on and finish reading The World According to Garp, which I find fun to read. I recently finished Huck Finn and would really like to read some more Twain as well. I looove southern writers.
Oh, God, and some Faulkner! I really can't wait to start on One Light in August.

What a cliffhanger ending.
   

     I'm starting to feel like I've thrown everything and everyone away. But maybe it's time I started over with a clean slate anyways.

I am only 17.

If I die, just know that I love you. 

   

     Seems as though I've got quite a void to fill between the Harry Potter movie and now. Well, let's go in chronological order...

• I got my AP scores back: FIVES in US History AND Language! I was amazed. 
• Julius Caesar is now over. The show turned out okay. I'm sad to be rid of my fun times with cast mates, and the lack of stress now certainly leaves me feeling unproductive, but I'm not crushed that's it's done with.
  

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• Another note-worthy development is that I no longer work in the (arm)pits of Hell- Sunsations. I got hired at American Eagle! I love my discount.. I mean, job. 

• My college class is over! Free of night/summer school, at last! Andd, I passed the class with a 99.

     I know this was a short post, but hopefully now I'll be able to get back on track with regularly writing on here. So, what about you? What's new with your life? I doubt anyone ever reads this; if by some chance you are: just write a couple lines about what you've been up to lately. It'd be interesting to see a glimpse of... whoever you are. Ha.

Loathe:

• Hufflepuff... doesn't everybody?
• Going to Walmart at midnight last night for my father's grocery run.
• 242 dollars down the drain, to pay for a mailbox.

Love:

     So, I feel a little drunk off of how tired I am. The funniest part of that is that I spelled drunk wrong that first time I typed it.
     The first thing on the agenda today is a shower. Yet I'm putting that off as I sit here typing. I haven't written in awhile compared to my normal posting.
     Something that pisses me off? Hypocrites. Even worse: ones that try to be deep. Are you serious, man? Gosh. And people still eat it up too: saying you're a good person, reassuring you. I fucking see through that veil; and I can't wait to not see you anymore. Those flowery-ass sentences you pour out radiate putridity: and that goes for two people.
     Don't you just love vagueness?
     Another thing on the agenda: all my fucking money problems. I know, I know, if one looks back on this blog at all my shopping instead of saving... well, it's come back to haunt me. It's not that I'm going to be unable to accomplish any of these things, but money is going to be tighter than an ant's asshole. (...Do ants even poop?! lol, think of how tiny their droppings would be!) Everything, however, is a want. Not a need. And so 2 out of the 3 can basically be put on hold until whenever.

1.  Disney trip with Kirstin and Jamey (Somewhere in the 2nd or 3rd week of August)
2. My dream machine... the Janome.
   
3. School clothes.

    The play is this Friday. *Dies*

Well, here goes:

     It's the first time it has rained in... I think, the entire month we've had of summer. I love the rain, it makes me in the perfect mood: a combination of lazy and sleepy, yet also in the spirit for productivity, such as dying my hair (which is currently piled on top of my head in a little blob of chemicals), or hanging up some decorations I've had sitting around in my room forever.
    There are 10 days until two very important events: one, the opening night of my play; and two, the Harry Potter movie premiere! Scared shitless for one, excited fo

r both, though.

 

   
 These are the protest posters I  for the show that I've taken awhile to upload, mentioned in a blog from.... last week? Anyway, I like them; but I what didn't like were the brushes we had to paint with so these are fingerpaintings. Hahah.

      I've had that "You don't have to be hip to my girl, you don't have to be cool to rule my world" song.. I think it's by Prince stuck in my head for the past couple days. Gah, sometimes I'm the most annoying person I know.

     Today got off to a really bad start. Probably a worse start than most days can- I got a call this morning from a woman whose mailbox I had accidentally tapped with my car. I did the responsible, unrealistic thing and left my name and number.  And now this woman wants an excess of 400-600 dollars out of me. For a mailbox I barely hit. My car doesn't even have a scratch on it. But, whatever. It will get resolved, and I'm not giving that lady more than 200 bucks. BITCH, R U FA REAL? Psh. I'm too tired of telling the story to go into a detailed rant. I hate telling stories over and over again. Makes me feel like an attention whore, or a bore.
    Luckily, my mind got quickly diverted from thinking about that. I got a 99 on the college exam I was so scared of! A 99! Yet with the mailbox incident my parents are far too occupied to praise me. Sigh, it's not anything new though. I feel like the puppy that still runs to the door excited even though their owner comes home from work in a bad mood everyday. "Hey! Hey! Notice me!  Am I doing good??? Am I doing good?!"
     Currently, waiting on my clothes to finish in the washing machine so I can throw them in the dryer and have my work shirt for tomorrow. Gah, work on the 4th of July. It's going to be slammed. Work the day after that as well, a morning shift. Waking up and being somewhere at 8AM to 4PM is not my style. Especially two days in a row.
     God, I hope I don't hate my job when I grow up.

     Today was... okay. Had it's high points, but certainly could have done without the lower ones. Let's summarize via a "Things on Tuesday" blog.

Lower Points:

• Itchy, herpes legs are still present.
• Awkwardness with a lot of my cast lately.
• Being off-book for the ENTIRE play and not knowing it.
• Basically getting told that my character sucks.
• Getting bitched at.
  
• First test in my College Biology is tomorrow.
• Getting behind in Virtual School.
• Spending habits.
• A really shitty server at Friday's.
  

Higher Points:

• Buying two (2!) pairs of shorts for twenty (20!!) dollars.
• Getting invited to Nathan's birthday party- I barely know the guy but I've always thought he was really cool, so I was kind of awkwardly flattered to get asked to it. 
• Some bomb-ass breadsticks at Friday's. And a new, drunk friend who I split them with.
  
• Knowing a lot more of my lines than I thought I did. I was proud of myself, despite the criticisms I received- and that's all that matters... I guess.
• New clothes from American Eagle got shipped out.
  
• Cleaned my room a bit.
• Clean sheets. I love clean sheets. Makes my life feel so much more calm when I crawl into a nice, crisp, clean bed.
  
• Socializing with people I barely know. 
• NEW JOHNNY DEPP MOVIE TOMORROW!

     Damn, I'm tired. Crossing my fingers that my test will go over well next evening. Agh, so scared of the unknown- I don't know what this guy's tests will be like. Tests always makes me think of the word testes. And if I find out what the professor's testes are like, I probably won't have to worry about anything on the test.
     Pft. Moving on... from that... I am totally exhausted. I need to make a "To-Do" list so I won't just lay in bed on Myspace and Etsy all of tomorrow. (Speaking of which, I'm thinking about getting a Facebook... probably not agood idea with how my schedule is lately, however.)
To-Do:

1. Shower (Don't judge, at least it's the first thing on there.)
2. Watch some Demi Moore movie to get ideas for seduction (character-wise). And other shit like Fatal Attraction and Basic Instinct.
   
3. Study for BSC 1005 test. (I'm so on edge about it.)
4. Study lines for JC.
   
5. Virtual School class.
6. Clean room more.

    Where is the avalanche rescue team? I'm about to need to be dug out of my obligations for the summer.  ...I feel so fucked.